Before You Call It Lying
What’s Really Happening, when your child says,
“I don’t have any homework”
I hear this one all the time.
A parent looks at me and says,
“My child told me they didn’t have homework… and then I checked the portal.”
And immediately, the question becomes:
Are they lying?
It’s a fair question.
Because from the outside, it can look like a clear mismatch between what they said and what’s actually there.
But before we jump to that conclusion, we have to slow this moment down.
Executive Function Lens
Instead of asking, “Why did they lie?”
we ask:
Did they forget?
Did they avoid?
Did it feel too big to start?
Was there shame in that moment, leading them to respond with what they wished was true?
Because executive function is not just about what a student knows.
It’s about what they can access in the moment.
And in that moment, several things might be happening:
Working memory may not be holding all assignments
Task initiation may feel too overwhelming to even think about
Emotional regulation may be driving a quick escape response
Self-monitoring may not be fully online
So what looks like a simple answer…
may actually be a snapshot of a brain under pressure.
The Shift
When we label it as “lying,” we tend to move into correction:
👉 “You need to be honest.”
👉 “Why did you say that?”
But if we shift the lens, we change the response.
We move from:
“Catch and correct”
to
“Pause and support.”
Parent Tip
One of my favorite ways to do this is by creating a physical pause button with your child.
Using Model Magic:
Choose one color as the base
Use another color to create a raised “P” on top
Now it becomes something tangible.
Then, when you sense a quick or automatic answer, you can simply say:
👉 “Pause… want to try that again?”
That moment matters.
Because you are:
Interrupting the automatic response
Creating space for thinking
Allowing them to adjust without fear of getting in trouble
And over time, that pause becomes internal.
Why This Matters Right Now
This time of year, these moments tend to increase.
Not because students suddenly care less.
But because:
Cognitive load is higher
Fatigue is building
Systems that once worked are starting to break down
So what you’re seeing now is often not new behavior…
it’s reduced capacity.
I started working with a student in eighth grade.
At the time, our work focused on school—tracking assignments, getting started, and following through.
Over the years, he returned during key transitions: high school, college, and now law school, where he’s in his second year after starting early.
What’s changed isn’t just the workload—it’s the focus.
We’re no longer talking about homework.
We’re working on managing time, energy, and real-world demands.
Because executive function isn’t something you fix once.
It develops—and the support evolves with it.
If you’re noticing:
More missing work
More “I don’t know” or “I don’t have anything” responses
More tension around school at home
You’re not alone.
And this is exactly the kind of pattern we work through in our coaching.
We’re currently opening a few spots for an 8-week End-of-Year Resetdesigned to help students:
Get back on track
Reduce daily stress
And finish the year with a clearer system in place
Because the goal is not just getting through this week…
it’s helping your child build the awareness and tools they can carry forward. Email us at support@cpccoaching.com
Warmly,
Crista
Owner and Founder of Connected Pathways Coaching & Academy
