College freshman year is right around the corner: What parents need to know about executive function and the transition to college
A mom called me in October worried about her daughter. She had been a strong student in high school. AP classes, some dual enrollment, good grades. But freshman year was not going the way anyone expected. When I asked her to tell me more, she said something that has stayed with me. She said, I was there to help. I would nudge her sometimes to get things done. I guess I did not realize how often I was doing that.
Her daughter had missed the window to schedule her midterm testing accommodation appointments. She had not figured out how to use the writing center. She was drowning not because she was not capable, but because the scaffolding that had always been there quietly in the background was suddenly gone.
The transition from high school to college is one of the most significant executive function moments in a young person's life. In high school there is a structure built around students whether they realize it or not. Teachers send reminders. Parents check portals. Case managers follow up on accommodations. The system catches what the student misses.
College does not work that way. Syllabi need to be read and managed independently. Accommodation appointments need to be scheduled by the student. Deadlines do not come with warnings. And for students whose executive function skills are still developing, the gap between what they could do with support and what they can do without it becomes very clear, very quickly.
This is not about intelligence. It is about the scaffolding that was always there and is now gone.
Before your child leaves for college, spend some time this summer building the skills they will need to navigate independently. Start with the syllabus. Practice reading one together and identifying every deadline, every appointment, every expectation. Make it a skill, not an assumption.
If your child has a 504 or IEP, make sure they know how to register with the disability services office at their college and how to schedule their own accommodation appointments. This process is entirely student driven in college and many students arrive not knowing that.
Introduce them to the resources that will replace what you have been doing. The writing center, the tutoring center, office hours. These are not remedial resources. They are the infrastructure of college success and students who use them do better.
And if you know your child needs someone in their corner who is not their parent, consider putting that support in place before August, not after October.
Need help this fall?
If your child is heading to college this fall and you are quietly wondering what happens when you are not there to nudge them, we understand. That is exactly why we offer body doubling and executive function coaching for college students. A partner who helps them read the syllabus, schedule their accommodation appointments, make the writing center visit happen, and stay on top of what is coming before it becomes a crisis.
You do not have to send them without support. Book your free consultation and let's talk about your child.
